Do We Have to Go to Court?

The only issue that the court needs to decide in your divorce is that your marriage is over.

However, it’s also going to check to make sure your children are provided for, financially.

Shocking, isn’t it? You can do most of it yourselves, without involving lawyers or fighting in court. In fact, 62% of all divorce files in North America have one person representing themselves. It’s so common it’s called “pro se”.

Needing a lawyer is a thing of the past.

So why do so many people hire lawyers and go to court when it is time to divorce?

Divorce courts started in England in 1857: more than 165 years ago. During that era, marriage lasted “until death do us part”. You had to do something bad to ask the court for a divorce. The court could say yes or no. There was a lot of shame attached to divorce. Governments have modified the processes but the essential rules and responsibilities remain the same.

Society has changed a great deal since then. People can read and write. There is good free and low cost information available on the internet. Divorce no longer needs one spouse to have done something bad. Simply living apart for a specified amount of time is enough. Additionally, women are no longer the property of their husbands, and many are saying “no” to staying in a relationship where they don’t feel free to be themselves.

With all of these changes, more than 40% of first marriages end in divorce. In fact, in 2020, nearly 43,000 divorces occurred in Canada. There were over 630,000 divorces granted in America the same year. Divorce has become extremely common.

More and more, families are able to make many of the decisions themselves.

That’s right. The court will make an order that your marriage is over. It also will ensure the parents are providing financially for the children.

Everything else: the two of you can decide.

If the two of you do it yourselves, with help from the My Lawyer Free Divorce Course or work together with a mediator, you’re much more likely to be satisfied with the outcomes.

You’ll be able to consider what’s best for your children, and limit how much your divorce costs.

This way, the court isn’t making decisions about every aspect of your family. This way, you’re saving money, and increasing the likelihood of having a successful co-parenting relationship.

And, better yet, if you can decide all the issues yourselves except the ending of  your marriage, you can apply together for divorce, with your separation agreement attached.

You’ll be happier and your divorce will reflect the reality of 21st century life instead of the social norms of 1857.

If you’re not ready for the Course, check out this free resource on this topic.

If you want to learn more about the history of divorce, it’s a subject I love to talk about. Reach out and schedule a conversation.